I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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