I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize