For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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