is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
