he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
