if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
