i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
only you would photoshop your dick
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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