***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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