Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
