from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
