My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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