ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize