Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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