im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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