i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
