i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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