I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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