some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
So squirting runs in the family.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
