so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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