Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
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shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
you're hired as official boob wrangler
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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