Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
