We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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