Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
