just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
