I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
