About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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