Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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