he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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