You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
