call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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