i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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