Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
