I am puke
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
