Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
