Do you still have your period?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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