i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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