it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
