If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
