Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We left an ass print on the piano.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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