Bisexual people are plain selfish.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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