Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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