Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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