Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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