My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Operation Purity has been aborted
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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