you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
