I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He better not be in your backpack
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
