This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
