He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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