Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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