I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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