I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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