i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
