you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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