i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
