i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
