Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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