Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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