So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
