Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize